I am NOT A GROUPIE, I am a fan

Sure,whatever…..

Amazing the lies we tell ourselves, and pretend it’s the gospel truth.

I know I crossed the line between fan and groupie as soon as I traveled outside of my area to see C! . When I stopped thinking about catching them this year and started thinking about how many times I could catch them. When distance became no object and I discovered Southwest’s online “get-away” fares. And when my husband’s long running joke was no longer funny.

Me: “Look at the money we saved on this” (indicating a bill, or a purchase, or something we did ourselves instead of paying someone

Him: “Better put it in the Clutch fund”.

Anyone could see it was coming. A couple of Christmas’ ago, my son nailed it first. After a half dozen people (himself included) received C! hats, tees, & CDs, B declared “Sure looks like Clutch is having a Merry Christmas”. Later that year he told me I ruined C! for him. Every time he was getting into the music, he’d think of me.( yeah boy, that ain’t cool).

I say the problem I have with the label is the negative connotations it has. But in truth, being a groupie is just downright embarrassing for me.

The real problem is, the band is made up of people. And those people can’t be on the stage all the time. I don’t really know those people, and they don’t know me, but we sure as hell recognize each other out on the street. Being a groupie means you hit town early and check out the venue first. (looking for those pesky, no camera signs). Inevitably the bus is outside and the guys are either carrying stuff in, or walking around the area on their cells(happy to be outside). I know who they are. I know they know who I am (is that proper English?). So I’ve got to pretend I don’t see them, or acknowledge them.

Most of the time, I’m caught like a deer in headlights, with no time to recover. For the longest time I got away with a small smile and nod. Then it started to feel rude.

After all, these guys are also in smaller bands. When I go to see those bands we are all hanging in a smaller club, or bar all night. Sooner or later I’d have to start talking to them. Something is just not right when you are hugging the Techs, Roadies, and Merch guy at every show, but are ignoring the people you admire the most. All I wanted was to talk to each of them briefly, so I would no longer feel so star struck every time I bumped into one of them.

The Drummer was the easiest, he is famous for being accessible to the fans, and is really just the nicest guy (OK K, you’re letting your preference show). I got to talk to him over a year ago when the played in a tiny place(MAXWELL’S) in North Jersey. Now, we can nod at each other like old friends.

The Guitar player was next, I ran into him behind another small club(REX’S) and unfortunately for me, had had a couple drinks first.

Me: “I love you guys”

Him: “Thanks”

Me: (in my head) Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Him: (in his head) isn’t she that crazy old woman who dances like Elaine?

The Vocalist, forget about it, I’m am scared to death of him. I think he could look into my soul with his intense eyes. It didn’t help that at a recent TBG show, a well meaning friend shoved me into his face to introduce me. I don’t even know what I said, but I’m going to count him as done.

That leaves the Bass player, supposedly even shyer then I am (or was). After months of trying to come up with something original to say, I had a sudden thunderbolt of inspiration! The perfect thing to say, it wouldn’t embarrass either of us.

Me: Where’s your wife?

Him: Around here some where.

Ta Da…………!

So, are you a fan or a groupie ?? Can you talk to the object of your idolization? Who is it and what was your opening line?

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